Giving Offerings & Giving Thanks

Worlds Mirror - Worlds Apart

As I began to build my floating crown for Loi Krathong, I thought about what it all meant. Beyond the reason the tradition began here in Thailand, which I've heard many different stories behind from honoring the Buddha, letting go of anger or negative thoughts, all the way to thanking the Goddess of Water, Phra Mae Khongkha (พระแม่คงคา), on to what this might mean to me. I love symbolic acts, rituals that resonate with me, as much as I love being artistic and honoring nature. This yearly celebration, held on the 12th month of the traditional Thai lunar calendar, was shaping up to be a special one for me.

I spent the early afternoon with my host family shaping the banana tree trunk base cut from our own banana trees, cleaning, oiling and folding the banana leaves, and picking flowers from the garden in order to make my krathong (floating crown/decoration/boat). My host and her daughter took time to teach me (and my host's son) how to tear and fold the leaves into different shapes in order to make a variety of decorations, then allowed me the space to create my own as they worked on theirs. The family's boats all had personalities of their own, but as they were made from the same leaves and flowers, they all tied together nicely. When the last of the leaves and flowers were attached, one candle and three incense sticks were added to the arrangements. The bright golds of marigolds, sunflowers, and candles against the bold green of leaves paired beautifully together.

As dusk set in, we loaded our crowns into the back of the truck and headed into the larger town about 25km away to join in the celebration. As we arrived, we found very few people lined up to release their boats into the water thanks to good timing, so we lit our candles (meant to symbolize the Buddha's enlightenment), and incense (to burn away negativity and make room for good to flow), raised our crowns to our heads in a moment of reflection, and offering, then placed them in the water to float downstream together. I breathed in the moment, let the symbolism settle into my awareness, and watched as the candles faded into the distance.

On the field behind us, a woman was setting up floating lanterns to release. Anyone who has done their research on Thailand has seen beautiful photos of these, but to see them in person was another thing entirely. The sheer size of the paper lanterns as they filled with warm air after the disc was lit below was amazing to behold and as it filled enough to release, it was gorgeous to watch it fade into the darkening sky. Much like a child might watch in wonder the first time she let go of a balloon, I was mesmerized. None of the members of my host family had ever released a Khom Loi before either, so we purchased one for 60 baht (just shy of 2 dollars) and stood together holding the lantern as it expanded and released it after a few minutes. Another beautiful symbol of letting go.

Just a few days later, it was my turn to share an American tradition with my Thai host family, counterparts, and students as Thanksgiving approached. I began with a brief history of the American tradition and then dug into the spirit of giving thanks with my English lessons, guiding students through thinking about what gratitude was, and who or what they give thanks for in their lives. With circle map filled, and sentence frames posted, students let their artistic side shine as they made hand turkeys and filled them with things they gave thanks for. The thoughtful responses and gorgeous artwork gave me a boost that kept me going throughout the holiday weekend.

On a side note, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I was helping to cook and a pan of boiling oil tipped over on the stove. Without thinking, I rushed to catch it and spent the rest of the evening in the urgent care facility a few villages over being treated for the intense burn that covered my whole right hand. When I arrived at school, hand wrapped like a mummy, my co-teacher thought I was wearing gloves and relieved that I was finally feeling chilly during Thai cold season. I had to explain to her, on the contrary, about my kitchen mishap, and spent the rest of the day teaching about Thanksgiving and explaining how to make hand turkeys, with my deep-fried turkey of a hand. Thankfully, the humor wasn't lost on me, and the pain killers worked their magic as the creams and antibiotics kept me healing.

Lots to be thankful for...

PB&J

The winds of change arrived with the change of the seasons...

You all remember the week my life stood still from what I shared here, as well as my close friendship with Barbara over my time here in Thailand. From the last two weeks of training where I moved in with her, on through our move to site less than 45 kilometers away, our friendship blossomed through the trials and tribulations that Thailand had to offer.

From a broken hand, dog attacks, teaching English camps, commiserating, inspiring, crying, laughing, cooking, traveling, and being there for one another every step along the way, when I received a phone call from Barbara one day, I somehow already knew what she had to say.

I learned the saying "รู้ใจ" from my host during our many tutoring sessions. It literally translates to "know heart" and is used like we might say "she/he knows me so well." My host introduced it by using it for her husband who loves to bring watermelon home to her, knowing how much she'll enjoy it. When Barbara called, I knew what was on her heart and in her mind. The time had come for her to say goodbye. It broke my heart to know I'd be losing my closest friend here (in distance and depth) but her happiness was far more important than my selfish reasons for her to say.

In the days leading up to her leaving, when I spoke to my host family about her returning home, they asked if I would go with her. They understood my desire to follow my friend, my love of the time we shared, and our closeness. They feared that I would be on that plane with Barbara, and encouraged me to change Barbara's mind. As inviting people to do things that will not make them happy isn't high on my list, I didn't try to change her mind, only told her of what a great friend she was/is every step along the way. Still, every day my host family would ask if Barbara "เปลี่ยนใจ," literally "change heart" the way most would ask "did she change her mind." Of course, my answer remained "no" day after day until I was dropped my off for my final goodbye.

I took the last day with Barbara in Thailand in baby steps. Helping in whatever small ways I could, but mainly just trying to drink in my last few hours with this dear friend so close by. She passed things onto me, we shared wishea for one another, and when morning came, my host family picked me up, loaded the truck with her hand me downs, and shared hugs I had taught them to give. I can't remember if I cried or waited until I got in the car, I can't remember what she wore, or what day it was, even. The only thing I could remember was the hole the left that I wasn't sure would ever fill.

As I think back on my time with Barbara today, I am filled with joy. I know I'll miss her more than words can truly say, but what true friendship couldn't I say that about? Time is precious, and I've learned to cherish the good times here even more thanks to this lesson. People are gifts, and I've learned to focus on what I love as opposed to dwelling on the things that are less enjoyable thanks to this lesson. I've learned two new Thai sayings that speak volumes about the people here. Where we normally would say "he/she knows me" and "I changed my mind" Thais speak with the heart at the forefront.

How sweet it is!